Relapsed? How to Get Back on Track in Addiction Recovery
Recovery from addiction is a courageous and challenging process. From detox through inpatient recovery, the path is filled with ups and downs. When you go back to your normal life, you feel a lot of hope, as well as trepidation. But what happens if you relapse?
This is the question I had to ask myself not so long ago. I’d embraced addiction recovery wholeheartedly, more afraid of remaining addicted than of the challenges ahead. And it worked! I emerged into the world with a new perspective and a commitment to never use substances again.
When I crashed back down to earth, I was filled with disappointment, shame, and fear. How had this happened after six months clean? Did I have to start from the beginning again?
Had I ruined everything?
Fortunately, my mentors and peers were there to counter my catastrophizing mind. They helped me see that, while this relapse was a setback, it was a normal part of the journey. It was not a personal failing, but rather a natural challenge during a difficult time.
Gradually, I began to see the way forward. Here is what I learned about how to get back on track after a relapse in addiction recovery.
Why Do People Relapse?
Shame is a common feeling for people who relapse. You feel like a failure, in contrast to the pride you may have had about your addiction recovery thus far. It’s important to know why people relapse so as not to get caught up in self-blame.
Before going further, I want to clarify that this discussion concerns full relapses, rather than a lapse. What’s the difference? A lapse is a one-time slip, whereas a relapse is a full return to substance use for an extended period of time. This could be a week, month, or longer.
When I relapsed, I struggled to see why I had ‘done it’. I could have attributed a lapse to a moment of weakness during a stressful day, but the difficulties in my life didn’t seem big enough to warrant much more than that.
However, relapse is often a reaction to underlying struggles. Common causes of relapse include:
- Unresolved emotional pain: Processing emotional pain is a lifelong process. Sometimes, emotions resurface for no clear reason, perhaps triggered by situations that resemble unresolved traumas.
- Stress: Daily life often feels overwhelming, with responsibilities at work and at home. Even when you seem to be managing it, your body still experiences stress which wears down your defenses.
- Triggers: No matter how prepared you are to avoid triggers, life is unpredictable. Triggers can turn up where you least expect them.
Complacency: When you’re doing well, it is normal to become a bit complacent and assume you no longer need to actively work on your recovery. - Loneliness: Modern life can be very isolating. Loneliness is a major risk factor for addiction and relapse.
Physical cravings: A successful detox does not mean the end to physical cravings. Your brain can recall the effects of the drug even months or years later. - Perfectionism and shame: Ironically, it is often the belief that we need to be perfect that turns a lapse into a relapse. The shame that we feel after a stumble can drain our self-belief, leading to a sense that there’s no point in even trying.
All of these are normal in the life of a recovering addict. The feeling of shame is a natural reaction, but it’s important to remember that feelings are not facts. Just because you feel shame does not mean you deserve it.
With an understanding of why people relapse, it is easier to prevent it or get back on track when it happens.
Steps to Get Back on Track After Relapse
There are many ways to get back on track after a relapse, but it is first necessary to reiterate a basic fact: you are not starting from scratch. Even if your relapse has lasted long enough that you have to go through medical detox, you still have the foundations of your recovery process so far, with knowledge and practice of the strategies needed to get and stay clean.
Also, relapsing doesn’t mean that your hard work wasn’t successful. As we’ve discussed, there are many reasons relapse can happen. The blueprint for recovery remains the same, even if you need to tweak some strategies and prepare for situations which caught you unaware.
When getting back on track, the following tips will be useful:
- Assess your tailored recovery plan and identify what worked and what didn’t.
- Strategize how you can reinforce your successes and prepare for previously unforeseen challenges.
- Consider the additional help you might need, whether from professionals or family and friends.
- Pay attention and notice negative self-talk, reminding yourself that addiction is a disease and relapse is normal.
- Speak to your therapist or recovery coach about unresolved trauma that may have resurfaced during the relapse. This will help address the underlying issues so that they do not lead to future lapses.
- Highlight the progress you have made, recognizing how easy it is to focus on the setbacks while forgetting the hard work you’ve done.
- Put contingency plans in place for future situations when you recognize you’re at risk of relapse.
- Learn mindfulness and other holistic practices which complement the recovery process and help you ride out the cravings.
Every Setback is a Lesson
No matter how prepared you are, future relapses are possible. They can be more difficult to accept, but the same principles apply: you are working hard and learning lessons along the way. Sometimes, additional growth comes from falling and getting back up. You may have already experienced this in your recovery, recognizing that there are life lessons you would never have learned without suffering from addiction.
Relapse can happen even after a sustained period of sobriety. Don’t get disheartened and remember that, while shame is a normal feeling, there is no need to engage in self-blame.
References
Perspect: The Need to Distinguish between “Lapse” and “Relapse”
Yale Journal: Relapse Prevention and the Five Rules of Recovery
Veterans Health Library: Understanding Alcohol or Drug Lapse or Relapse